silvermaid: (waiting)
Anastacia O'Keefe ([personal profile] silvermaid) wrote on April 22nd, 2009 at 01:59 am
we are standing on the edge
Friday, June 30th, 2016

She watched the lines in the sidewalk as they passed by, heels clipping along at a measured pace.  Her hands were buried deep in the pockets of her blue pea coat, and thoughts raced through her head in an equally measured, equally persistent rhythm.

It was Friday night, and she had her cashed paycheck tucked neatly into the gold purse dangling at her side.  She was on her way to the Gift of Lethe Kitchen, to slip her biweekly donation into the box outside.  But today had her wondering.  Wondering if it was enough.

She glanced up, away from those repeating faultlines in the pavement, and scanned the faces of those she passed.  A mixture of ennui, frustration, anger, and emptiness answered her, and her eyes dragged down again, the tiniest of frowns decorating her visage for a moment.  She remembered so vividly the one time she'd let it get to her - this city.  Returning to New York after all these years to find it... strangely hollow.  She thought she felt a breeze, as a shiver rocked down her spine, but she knew it was just the memory of those dark days when the things she'd seen in the inner city - the crime, the helpless homeless, the apathy and despair- had shaken her to the very core.  It has nearly broken her down.  But she had faith... and she had realized, through that pain and uglinesss, that this must have been exactly why the Unicorn had guided her back here.  To enact her own small sliver of change.  Anastacia had never dreamed she'd be a member of law enforcement in one of the toughest cities in the world.  She knew people laughed at her, thought she was too soft, too innocent, too nice to be a cop.  But she was tougher than she looked.  She'd probably seen more than most of them had.  She could handle it, especially if she were able to go to bed every night knowing she'd helped someone.

But, she couldn't help but wonder... was this going to be it?  

Was this her destiny then?  Should she be doing more?  It wasn't guilt that gnawed after her, but rather an echoing sense of the city's pain, that she felt in a very visceral way, right beneath her skin.  It needled at her own pain, her own loss, the things this city had once held for her and no longer did.

No. She had decided years ago that she wouldn't be buoyed down in these thoughts.  She was here, now.  She would do what she could.

Her thoughts were interrupted as she was jolted by someone brushing past her in the crowd.  They shoved something into her hand - an envelope.  She took a moment to glance down at it, bewildered, and by the time she looked behind her, scanning the crowd for the one responsible, they had melted into the sea of faces, backs, motion.  She blinked a few times, her heart racing, inexplicably. 

There was an alleyway ahead, and she rode the wave of people until she reached it, slipping unnoticed into the abandoned way, and leaning against the wall.  She quickly drew off her gloves, stuffing them into the pocket of her coat.  For reasons unknown, she clutched the envelope to her chest, head tilting back as she tried to control the imbalance of her breathing, the flutter in her chest.  There was something to this, she felt it, and it was powerful indeed.

Finally, fingers almost shaking in anticipation, she opened the envelope and removed the ticket inside.  Her eyes scanned the words there.

"Your destiny awaits."  There was a location, and a time.  

Her heart almost banged out of her chest, as a smile somewhere between pure joy and relief broke across her face. 

This it it, her heart sang.  Those three words were enough. 

In fact, they were everything.

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